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Tracks by Steve Whalen
You Know Brooklyn’s Getting Taken over the Other Day I Got Mugged Via Skype!!! Thank You. There’s a Reason Why They Call Me “Mr. Jokes.” (More)
BPM: 60
Length: 0 minutes and 32 seconds
I Told My Agent to Book Me for a Charity Like the Ones WithThe Sick Kids That You Can Visit. He Said, “Make a Wish?” I Said, “Losing Fifty Pounds Would Be Nice.”
BPM: 119
Length: 0 minutes and 17 seconds
My Ex-Girlfriend Was Pansexual. a Lot of Guys Think That’s Pretty Hot. I Used to Think Being Pansexual Meant You Were up for Anything in the Bedroom. Turns out Being Pansexual Means You Sleep Around WithThe Guys at Pizza Hut!!! (More)
BPM: 103
Length: 0 minutes and 27 seconds
I Had to Take the 79 Bus to Get Here. Is It Just Me or Does the 79 Make the 78 Look Like the 53? Am I the Only Person Who Noticed That, I Can’t Be the Only Guy Who Noticed That One. (More)
BPM: 80
Length: 0 minutes and 20 seconds
I’m Loud, Too, I’m a Loud Comedian, I’m so Loud a Mile Away People Are Not Laughing, Amirite You Guys!!!
BPM: 0
Length: 0 minutes and 10 seconds
Comedy Career’s Not Going Well. the Only Endorsement Deal I Ever Got Was from Velveeta. They Liked My Act Because It’s 100% Cheese!!!
BPM: 0
Length: 0 minutes and 12 seconds
My Agent Recently Got Me a Deal WithNetflix. 13.99 for 2 Discs a Month, You Can’t…but Uh.…That Is Something…Oh, Alright.
BPM: 0
Length: 0 minutes and 12 seconds
We Talked About Women, My Career. You Know What’s Really Hurting Me Is That I’m Fat, I’m Not Gonna Lie About It, I’m a Big Fat Guy. You Wanna Know How Fat I Am? (More)
BPM: 100
Length: 0 minutes and 23 seconds
I Write My Jokes on Receipts Sometimes, That Can Be Pretty Awkward. I Go Back to the Cvs, She Says, “Why Does Your Uh, Receipt Say, “Big League Chew” and “What’s the Deal WithBig League Chew?” (More)
BPM: 99
Length: 0 minutes and 22 seconds
Comedy Career’s Not Going Well, I’m Not Gonna Lie, I Love This Crowd, I Love All of You, but It’s Not Going That Great. I Uploaded a Video to the Website Funny or Die, and the Funeral Is on Monday!!!
BPM: 107
Length: 0 minutes and 18 seconds
Even When It’s a Slam Dunk I Can’t Get It, Even When It’s a Slam Dunk. a Prostitute Went up to Me, She Said, “You Wanna Have a Fun Time?” I Said, “Yeah!” She Said, “There’s a Bowling Alley Down the Block!!!
BPM: 107
Length: 0 minutes and 16 seconds
My Agent Calls Me up, He Says, “Steve, Talk to Me Baby.” I Said, Jonny, You Called Me, He Said, “Oh Yeah”, and He Hung up the Phone.
BPM: 0
Length: 0 minutes and 9 seconds
I’m Trying to Lose Weight, I’m on the Paleo Diet. Me and My Pal Leo Eat Mozzarella Sticks…That’s Right, Why Not? That’s Right, Why Not. Oh My Goodne-
BPM: 0
Length: 0 minutes and 12 seconds
Oh No, I’ve Always Had Trouble. You Know Recently, a Very Difficult Situation - I Caught My Girlfriend in Bed WithAnother Comedian. I Asked, I Said, “What Have You Done?!?” He Said, “I Was on Comedy Central...”
BPM: 67
Length: 0 minutes and 21 seconds
You Know, You Gotta, You Gotta Do Your Best. I Was at a Bar, I Overheard a Woman Say, “If I Get Drunk I’ll Sleep WithThe Next Guy I See.”so I Bought Her a Few Drinks, Got Her Drunk, She Looked at Me and Said, “Where’s the Next Guy?!?”
BPM: 104
Length: 0 minutes and 20 seconds
I’m Not Saying My Ex-Girlfriend Had Intimacy Issues but the Song She Would Put on When We Made Love Was “U Can’t Touch This.” C’mon Guys, That Joke Was Funny at 4am in 1993.
BPM: 117
Length: 0 minutes and 16 seconds
Everybody’s Getting a Job for Money, Economics…Me, I Have No Money - My 401k Is a 401lolkthxbye!!!
BPM: 0
Length: 0 minutes and 14 seconds
They Had an Intervention for Me Recently, They Said, “Steve, You’re Here for Overeating.”…I Said, “Great, Let’s Get Started!!!"
BPM: 0
Length: 0 minutes and 9 seconds
Ma’am, Do You Like This Outfit? This Is from the ‘Peaked in High School Collection’. thank You. Appreciate It. Alright, Not Bad, Not Bad…
BPM: 0
Length: 0 minutes and 8 seconds
For This Next Joke, Oh Lord, He Can’t Save You Now. Somebody Said, “Oh Lord.” Anyway, Um. I Need a Beautiful Volunteer from the Audience for This One. (More)
BPM: 83
Length: 4 minutes and 2 seconds
My Agent Is Like a Secret Agent, Folks - Double 0 Bookings, OK, You Know What I’m Talking About?!? Dr. No…Work This Week!!! Amirite Folks, Alright? I Like That One.
BPM: 0
Length: 0 minutes and 12 seconds
Brooklyn, How Ya Folks Doing Tonight, Give It up for Yourselves! I Love This Crowd!!! Take It Easy on Me Folks, It’s Hard out There for a Guy Dressed Like a 12-Year-Old!!!
BPM: 89
Length: 0 minutes and 20 seconds
Even When You’re in a Serious Relationship You Can Tell Things Are Gonna Go Bad. One Time I Was at a Restaurant and I Asked the Band to Play Our Song. the Band Broke up!!!
BPM: 0
Length: 0 minutes and 13 seconds
I Don’t Mind If a Women Throws Her Drink in My Face, I Just Wish She’d Hold on to the Bottle Next Time!!!
BPM: 0
Length: 0 minutes and 13 seconds
It’s Hard to Relate to People When You’re Fat, Ya Know, I Told Someone to Put Themselves in My Shoes, They Went Missing for Three Weeks!!! What Did You Write Today, over There. (More)
BPM: 86
Length: 0 minutes and 35 seconds
But Enough About the Sex Jokes, Right? Sex This, Sex That, I’m One of Those Guys, I Don’t Like Sex. I’ve Made up My Mind. but Uh, Maybe I Shouldn’t Knock It ’til I’ve Tried It, Amirite Fellas.
BPM: 0
Length: 0 minutes and 13 seconds
I’m Fat!!! I’m a Fat Comedian - Second City?!? More Like Third Chin, Amirite Folks, You Guys Know!!! Somebody Book Me, Hey, There We Go.
BPM: 127
Length: 0 minutes and 25 seconds